Little victories..

I've been en femme the last few days.. and completely out in public. Not like, "out in a safe con-space".. but out in the really real world. And at least, here in NJ, there hasn't been any staring, any comments, nothing. Just me living normal. And I'm not worried about getting beaten up. I've let my guard down, and I feel relaxed for one of the first times.

So, little victories.. little epiphanies. I woke up this morning, took a shower, and after I got out of the shower, with no makeup on, hair all wet and slicked back, without having done -anything- to femme up, just me completely stripped of everything, and still, looking in the mirror, I didn't see me-as-guy, I saw me-as-female. Normally there's a back-and-forth light switch effect of on/off depending on what I'm wearing, how dressed I am, etc.. like if I don't have on makeup and a cute outfit, I'm not femme, I revert back to male.

'Cept today, I looked myself in the face, with no trappings, no disguises, no makeup, nothing to "transform" me, and I was still there. I was still there the way I see myself now.

Looks like I'll have a bit more to put in my new episode than I realized. :)

-Sabrina

Let the gong be sounded..

Well, that was a bit quicker than expected.

*sigh* another one bites the dust.



Today I look for someone just for me.