Where do we go from here?

From the Musical Buffy Episode "Once More, with Feeling.."

Where do we go from here?
Where do we go from here?
The battle's done and we kind of won
So we sound our victory cheer
Where do we go from here?


Why is the path unclear
When we know hope is near?
Understand we'll go hand in hand, but we'll walk alone in fear

Tell me!
Where do we go from here?
When does the end appear?
When do the trumpets cheer?

The curtain's closed on a kiss
God knows, you can tell the end is near
Where do we go from here?


So, some of you know already, some may not.. sanjikrhys and I have decided to a divorce. Today we talked a bit on the way home from work, and she's planning on moving out and back in with her mom over the weekend. The house is going to be empty now but for me.

Not sure how I feel about everything right now.

-S

Native American Animal Totems and Furries..

So way back when.. when I was a practicing wiccan instead of a lazy wiccan, I went searching for my spirit animals.. In the beginning, I was guided by Wolf (or thought I was anyways..) until one night I had a dream that Wolf came to me and said that I had learned all I could and would be turned over to my next guide, my "real" spirit animal, so to speak. At that time, Wolf turned me over to Bear and I became a follower of Bear's ways. (Yes, I know this sounds like a Cub Scout story, right? Ha!)

Seriously, though, ever since, I considered myself a Bear spirit, but wasn't entirely sure why.

Lately, as I've been associating more and more with my friends in Furry fandom, and looking to join the fandom more myself, I've been trying to think of what kind of Furry animal I'd be.. And nothing worked. Of course, I named myself after an Anthropomorphic Skunk named Sabrina.. but still, Sabrina the Skunk is her own person (with her own creator, I might add..) and while I feel that mentally (and sometimes physically) I look and relate and identify with her, I'm not really a skunk. I goof around with being a Neko in Second Life.. with ears and tail, but again, it's so common.. and it still doesn't really seem to fit me. Plus, I've never been good with being "one of many."

Plus, all of my friends have really nifty animals.. But what was mine? Well, I just kept going back to what already felt right.. but as a spirit animal. Bear. Why did this feel right?

Well, while on my search for my perfect furry identity, I came across this on a site for native american totem spirits:

http://www.whats-your-sign.com/native-american-animal-symbols.html
Bear: Aug 22 – Sep 21
Pragmatic, and methodical the Bear is the one to call when a steady hand is needed. The Bear's practicality and level-headedness makes him/her an excellent business partner. Usually the voice of reason in most scenarios, the Bear is a good balance for Owls. The Bear is also gifted with an enormous heart, and a penchant for generosity. However, one might not know it as the Bear tends to be very modest, and a bit shy. In a loving environment this Native American animal symbol showers love and generosity in return. Further, the Bear has a capacity for patience and temperance, which makes him/her excellent teachers & mentors. Left to his/her own devices the bear can be skeptical, sloth, small-minded and reclusive.

Apparently, I've been a bear all along and never near it. And the description certainly fits.
So I guess I really am a bear after all..

Guess this just means I get to be a Mamma Bear.. *laughing* Well, they're definitely not common in the fandom, I guess..

-Sabby Bear(?)